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Lazy summer days   
10:55am 03/08/2004
 
mood: lazy
I guess everyone's been neglecting these journals, since summer's so long and lazy. I don't mind, really, and I'm really not complaining! I just miss catching up about things online. That's all.

It's been awhile since I last visited with Schuldig-san. I think I might do that this week, as long as he doesn't mind. I don't want to be a bother, afterall.
 
     

1 candle| Light your way

 
   
01:35pm 10/07/2004
 
mood: embarrassed
I'd forgotten how lazy summer days can make people. Mm... there's a garden in back of the house that I've been working in a bit, but it's nothing much.

I realized something, too. I haven't been down to the flower shop in a month now... I think I might go down there later this weekend, and see if they have anything I can plant that might not get run over by the lawnmower. And even if they don't, it might be nice to catch up with the boys there.
 
     

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Just... things, I guess   
09:44pm 09/06/2004
 
mood: quiet
Well, the team didn't place well at all. It's like I mentioned on Schuldig-san's journal---our team placed sixth out of eighth. One of the upperclassmen hurt herself in practice, and I had to take over for her. I did alright, but we definitely could've done better.

Finals are coming again, and I'm really nervous about them. I'm sort of hoping I can pass chemistry---we were just handed our last tests back, and I got a high C. If I can pull off a grade like that, or even a better one next week, I'm sure I'll be okay.

This next week is going to be really tough, though... I hope I can do this. I mean, I believe in myself and all, but it's still so hard... At least I have summer break to look forward to. I can calm down then.
 
     

Light your way

 
Kyaa~   
09:09pm 27/05/2004
 
mood: rushed
The last track meet of the year is on Saturday! Oh, gosh. I forgot all about it until the captain reminded me. She's been helping tutor me in maths, because I'm pretty weak in that area, too. Plus, it helps me to understand some of the chem work better as well, and that's always a good thing.

How nerve-wracking, though! And finals are in another week. Just a week! I'm not looking forward to the results there. I already know that Captain is going to be in the Baragumi again, and I'll probably be stuck in the Momogumi. I can't even make it to the intermediate level on classes, and Captain's in the high-honors courses, for sure.

Ah, well. I managed a hundred on the last lab, and an eighty on the previous one. That means I get to run! I'm so glad. All that extra studying really paid off for me.

If anyone wants to come, that might be fun. There's going to be a few celebrations after, but I don't plan on attending any of them. The upperclassmen and I don't really get along too well, especially since half of them still think I was pretending when my kidney was stolen. I know I wasn't, and I know that there are people who believe me, but it still hurts to be doubted, especially since I have the scars to prove it. I won't show them, though, I won't show anyone.
 
     

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Oh, *no*...   
09:38pm 19/05/2004
 
mood: nervous
I really felt positive about molality and molarity. Really, I did. Studying with Omi-san helped a lot. But I still failed the unit test. I don't think that's going to go over well at home. At least it's higher than an eight, but... My mother's not going to like seeing a fifty much better.

Chemistry is never going to be my strong point. Too bad I couldn't just race and take history, then maybe I'd have a great GPA. I shouldn't get too worked up, though---the last match of the year is coming up, and our team has a chance to make it all the way! Well... if I can keep from failing, anyway. I'll still be at the match, too, whether I'm racing or not.

I just hope I get to help us place...
 
     

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Little things   
09:43pm 11/05/2004
 
mood: discontent
Anou, Schuldig-san, I wanted to thank you again for the pretty chain. It's been almost a week now, right? (I'm so bad with dates!) I really enjoyed talking to you, even if it was kind of... uncomfortable. Not that I didn't like being with you, just... oh, you know. "Circumstances", I guess.

I'm not doing so well in chemistry again, which is why I haven't been updating much. I tried really hard to get ready for this last quiz, and to understand the material, but I still got an eight. An eight! That's even worse than the sixty-four's I'd been pulling previously. I wasn't allowed to even look at the computer for just about the whole week. It's pretty sad.

Maybe I could get some help from Omi-san? That might help, maybe. Studying on my own didn't help, so I really have to start doing something. I can't pass high school with grades like that!




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Spring Break   
08:44pm 15/04/2004
 
mood: happy
Mmm... I'll be glad when Spring Break comes around. It's kind of weird, having it the week after Easter, but... oh well. It's still a week off where I get to rest and train more.

Some of the other girls were talking about all their plans for the vacation. I guess a lot of them are going to the coast or on vacations to tropical islands and such. It all sounds really nice, but... I'd be way too embarassed to go somewhere like that. I don't really think I could explain to people why my back is scarred up, and I really don't even want to.

I don't usually look forward to vacations this much. Maybe it's all of your advice this time, ne, Schuldig-san?
 
     

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Work and play   
01:34pm 30/03/2004
 
mood: happy
Schuldig-san, you're right---we all have been neglecting this old journals, hunh? But that's okay, since I'm finally able to relax a little more. Thinking about a vacation and spending more time out really helped me a lot. Oh, and I passed my AP History final, too! That's going to lessen my workload a whole lot.

It's been awhile since I've been home from school this early, too. Mmm... I'm glad some of the upperclassmen on the track team were willing to give me a ride home today instead of having to stick it out through study hall. I'll be able to catch up on everything I've missed and spend some more time outside. Maybe I'll even try and help with the flower gardens this year!
 
     

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School and racing   
09:12am 06/03/2004
 
mood: tired
Last week was so tiring! All those new school subjects, and then I find out that not only do I have to start registering for classes now---which is silly, really; what if I fail the finals?---but I have to prepare for some special race the team's holding for the elementary schools.

I'm going to have to spend all weekend cramming and practicing, and I already know that it's going to wipe me out, too. Maybe I should just quit track... oh, but I like it! I don't know what to do anymore. Maybe I can figure something out once those special races are over.
 
     

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04:29pm 17/02/2004
 
mood: tired
Valentine's Day was pretty quiet in my school, for once. A lot of girls had bouquets delivered from their boyfriends, and they were all so pretty to look at. Not much has been going on, though. There are some tests I need to study for, but nothing big.

I sort of wanted to send Schuldig-san something for Valentine's Day, but I really didn't know where to send anything or even what I could get for him. Ran-san and the boys at the flower shop, too. Boys are just too hard to shop for, I think.

I think I might have caught a cold from one of the boys in my class. I suppose that's what happens when you have to do a big group project with the guy who just can't stop sneezing, though. But at least we got a really good mark on that project, I guess that's what really counts.
 
     

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Oh, gosh!   
03:27pm 26/01/2004
 
mood: sad
I guess I've been so wrapped up in trying to pass my midterms I completely forgot about journals and stuff. And I guess I really shouldn't apologize for it---I mean, it's not like there are people out there who are just dying to hear about what happened to me.

I feel bad for Omi-san, though. I don't really know what happened---I only know a little bit---but I guess he's pretty sad about that friend of his, huh?

I don't know... but at least I managed to pass most of my tests. Too bad that's far from helpful...
 
     

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Oh!   
04:44pm 07/01/2004
 
mood: nervous
I've been so busy lately, I completely forgot about journals and things! Track meets aren't as frequent, which is nice, but that's only because midterm exams are in two weeks, and that isn't nice. Not at all. Because now I have to study for and take eight tests, six of which will determine whether or not I pass the year. Now that's pressure. Ooooh.... !

Christmas was fun, though. I got some useful things and some nice things, too. The little bear is so sweet... ! But I can't stand the thought of getting him dirty. He's much too cute to have to put through the wash, and I don't want to risk messing him up that way.

I should really be studying. I guess I'm just too nervous to sit down and try to focus.
 
     

Light your way

 
-   
09:51pm 20/12/2003
 
mood: drained
I think that talking to Schuldig-san yesterday really helped to put things into perspective for me, sort of. I mean, I kind of knew that I shouldn't worry, but... It's still so terrifying to me, I just can't help it. But I did sleep a whole lot better last night, and I really have to thank him for helping me with that.

Omi-san did go shopping with me a day or so ago, and that was fun. I really think that you'll all like the presents I got for you, or at least, I hope you all do. I tried to make sure and get everyone something useful if not sweet, at least.

And at least holiday break is here. I'll be able to study my chemistry now, and hopefully get the hang of it. I suppose it's not so bad, just kind of long-winded.
 
     

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Christmas   
10:09pm 14/12/2003
 
mood: awake
The holidays are coming really quickly this year. Well, not really, I suppose it only seems that way, but, still...

I want to get something for everyone, but I don't really know what to get for certain people. Ken-san and Omi-san are much easier to shop for then Schuldig-san and Aya-san, but I really want to do this for them all. I mean, they've all been so nice and helpful to me, I almost feel like I owe it to them.

It probably sounds really silly, though, that I'd feel that way, huh?

Still, I do like the holidays a lot. And this song's nice, too. I think it's from a video game, but I'm not too sure. I'm sure someone out there could tell me, but it's still a pretty song.

I have a test in my first period tomorrow, though, so I really ought to get offline and study some more. For soem reason, I just can't get the hang of this new chemistry work...
 
     

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Headache   
09:51pm 08/12/2003
 
mood: stressed
My knee's mostly healed up now, which is a good thing. It's hard to run when you've got a limp.

My head hurts a lot more now, though. It's probably because I haven't been sleeping much, from all those nightmares I've been having, and I've been practicing and working nearly nonstop.

I just hope I can concentrate long enough to finish all my homework... and get this song out of my head. I don't even speak German, so why is it in my head?
 
     

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Owww....   
12:19pm 01/12/2003
 
mood: sore
My leg really hurts. I tripped at the Koneko the other day, and I landed on it really hard. I didn't think I'd hurt it so badly, though. But when I got home, it was bleeding and just a big old mess.

It really, really hurts. I think it might be getting infected, since I didn't clean it right away. I hope it isn't, though, I have a lot of practices to go to. But it hurts to walk! And to go up stairs.

It's kind of pointless to talk about it though, huh? Anything else would be better, probably, but... at least when I concentrate on my leg, I don't have to think about Aya-san hating me.

Maybe I should go to the doctor's, and get my leg checked out... but then I'd have to walk there, and my knee hurts even more when I have to bend it. And I can't drive, either... maybe a taxi? Oh, but I can't afford one of those... !

I guess I'll just put ice on it for now. Maybe the track coach will have something I can put on it later, at practice. Oh, and I better get going soon! Classes and practice then work, and I can't be late!
 
     

5 candles| Light your way

 
Confused   
09:35am 16/11/2003
 
mood: confused
Things are getting really weird around here. Just because I said I'd give Schuldig-san another chance, Aya-san's been really upset. I'd like to think it's not my fault, but... it is.

I was going to ask them both to come and see my race next week, but now... Now I don't even think I want to tell them about it. I don't want Aya-san to be mad at me, but I don't want to just abandon Schuldig-san after I said I'd trust him.

I'm just so confused right now... maybe if I take a walk, I can clear my head a little. And besides, I promised I'd help at the flower shop today, and being late would probably only make Aya-san even angrier at me.

I wish I knew what to do....
 
     

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Love, life, and practice   
04:25pm 05/11/2003
 
mood: indescribable
I'm not very good at putting things into words, but I promised myself I'd try and use this journal to help with that.

Oh, and there I did it again! I entirely forgot to introduce myself---sumimasen! I'm Sakura Tomoe, 15, of Tokyo. I only got one of these journals because I heard that the boys who work at the Konoko no Sume Ie (it's a really great flowershop! You should visit, if you don't already) had them. I guess it's a pretty silly reason, huh?

The boys are all really nice, though. Especially Aya-san. I really, really thought I loved him once, and that he'd love me, too. I'll always love Aya-san, even though I know he'll never love me. But that's okay, I guess, as long as I can still love him.

School is harder this year, too. A lot of the classes are more challenging, and I'm no longer a second-string for track, I'm now first. I have to practice a whole lot more now, plus I'm working at the Koneko part-time, too.

Maybe if I could just stop having those nightmares about those weird 'ritual' people, it'd be easier... And if I could get that weird gaijin out of my mind. He was really creepy... He said he was Aya-san's friend, and... It was almost like he could read my mind! But that's silly, isn't it?

I'd better hurry and go soon, there's a late practice today, and I can't afford to be late!
 
     

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